One evening at 6:00pm I declared in my home that till the end of day I am not going to say “NO”. Whatever you tell me I will do it. Friends, it was an amazing experience to realize how much conscious was I about everything then on, how much no’s are a part of my being. When my 9yr and 5yr children understood what it meant they made me play all that they wanted. My wife and dad played small tricks in their sentences and made me say “yes” to everything. In spite of all this I pronounced “NO” 6 times in 5hrs. I also learned many positive ways of saying “NO”.
Just close your eyes and say “Don’t climb a tree.” The picture that the mind creates is “climb a tree” and then deny it. As students, teachers or parents if we can find clever ways of telling the other “what to do” than “what not to do” we are veeery differently empowering that person. Moreover, if you convert it into a question for right situations then you are not only empowering him/her but also giving a freedom of choice.
If we play yes-yes with self then we move into a different paradigm. Lets see how this evolves when we talk about concentration. One definition of concentration is “If I am reading something, I should be lost in the world of reading. I should not know what is going on around me.” We tend to deny everything that stops me from concentrating in my studies e.g. sexuality, TV, internet, SMS. We are stuck to this definition because we have borrowed it from elders, neighbours, books and maybe, previous experience. The other definition could be “If I am reading something, I may or may not get lost in the world of words. Am I aware of every thought (we call it distraction) that happens when reading?” There are two types of thoughts viz. those which are created because of reading the subject and those which are just coming to me without asking. Can you find your definition of ‘concentration’ and question it to the core? There are thoughts that happen to us, don’t deny them. Have Yes-Yes fun with them. They are not the voluntary ones as they seem to be.
If you are filled with a lot of questions after the read, be with them.
(please go through the article that triggered the above thought process at: http://www.citehr.com/863-toxic-thinking.html)
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Let me add to your thought process. Research has proved that mind (neurons or ganglions) don’t recognize or understand the word "No" or "not", therefore the sentence after that is acted upon, example “I do not want to smoke”, It is interpreted as “I want to smoke”. The brain is hard wired not to accept negative syntax. The negative sentences have to be restructured as positives to be effective or rewired.
ReplyDeleteYou might wonder then how people have negative thinking or pessimistic thoughts. If you realise, the negative thinking is structured in a positive syntax example “I am going to fail or it is going to fail”. The mystery lies there. If you have to reinforce positive thinking, you have to structure the sentence positively; if you have to create a new wiring, by new thinking. Research says that old wiring can’t be removed but can be made dormant. New rules can be created in the brain by constant practice of new thinking.
Best Wishes,
Divaker